What I would tell myself if I could have a life do-over

Hindsight is a beautiful thing, and I have been thinking about what how different my life would have been if I had just known what I do now. Here are some of my best advice to myself..

Primary School Jones

• Don't worry about how you hold your pen. Your parents are going to tell you that you hold your pen wrong, they are gonna give you some weird rubber thing to put on your pen to make you hold it correctly. They will tell techers to remind you during lessons to hold your pen correctly (which is super embarrassing). You never learn to hold it 'correctly'  but your handwriting is totally fine. Katie 1 Parents 0.

• You didn't know it at the time but the school uniform you were wearing was hideous, we as a class should have revolted. 

• Getting glasses are not going to change your appearance as drastically as you think, don't worry people will still be able to tell its you even if you are wearing them.

• Just because your Mum is chair of govenors at the school does not mean she is in charge of it and you are second in command.

• You think that lots of people are trying to 'steal' Lauren Weller away from you. Don't worry you two shall remain best friends.

Secondary School Jones

• The boobs that you have recently developed and are very excited about, you should embrace them now because that is all you are ever going to get. Its better you know now that nobody will be able to use your bosom for a pillow.

• The boy that you like is an absolute dickhead. You are way too good for him, he's pretty stupid.

• It is totally ok for you to be upset about the terrible haircut you got. It is terrible and totally destroys your hair for years. However don't wear that hat, it isn't a very nice hat, if you have to wear a hat at all go out and buy a nice one.

•  Don't try so hard or worry too much. You are doing just fine.

Grammar School Jones

• Revise more for your mock science gcse exam. You'll do really badly and the teachers will move you down a set even though you are totally capable of doing the higher paper. They put you in a class with all the bad asses and we know that is not a place where you comfortablly sit.

•  Just because your brother has learnt to drive now does not give you the right to ring him at 5 in the morning when you want a lift back from a party. That is not very considerate of you.

• Learn to pace yourself when you are drinking. Nobody likes the person who spends 3 hours in the bathroom being sick at a house party, so they'll put you in the hall with a bowl.

• Enjoy yourself, these are a great few years for you!

University Jones

• Go out more in your first year. It doesn't count at all to your final degree grade and you're only in 3 days a week.

•  Don't sleep so much. I know you're on your own and can do what you want but sleeping 18 hours of the day away is just stupid.

• Try and learn to cook more in first year. Aimee and Rachel are both very good but you shouldn't be relying on them as much as you are. You can do it yourself if you try.

• Join the radio team sooner cos you absolutely love it.

• Don't assume you are going to meet 'The One' at university and you will get married once you graduate. You won't.

• Your friends are the best be sure to tell them that :)

A short list

I live in Bristol again now, I have been back over a month and will soon have a flatmate, but at the minute I am on my own. Here is a short list of things that I have learnt about myself and life in this brief stint of independence.

• You have to make sure you get dressed everyday, even if you don't have work cos if somebody comes to the door it's got to be you that answers it. 
• It takes me a least 24 hours to recover from the ordeal that is emptying my brown food waste box for collection.
• I don't like sleeping on the ground floor, I have a recurring dream that somebody breaks into the flat doesn't take anything they just come into my room, get in my bed and spoon me. Fortunately I know its a dream now and am able to wake myself up.
• I am too dependent on the internet.
• Always make sure the heating will be on when you get in, otherwise you just don't take your coat off.
• I have listened to the Legally Blonde The Musical soundtrack so much that I am genuinely considering taking singing lessons so I can one day play Elle Woods in a local amateur production.
• It rains so much in Bristol that the fact that my umbrella was stolen has made leaving the flat is the definition of a mission.

All this has shown me is that I am no way mature enough to be 23 years of age.